she can have you
All this time I wasting hoping you could come around
I've been giving chances every time
And all you do is let me down
"I can't believe after all these years I'm doing this." I tell you as I slowly tear my hand from you tight grip.
"What?" you ask, confused.
I take a deep breathe and gulp.
My jaw tightens as my gaze moves upwards to meet yours.
I quickly look down, not moving my head.
I can't bare to stare.
This is painful, yet needed severely.
"I can't take it anymore." this comes out soft and weak.
"Come on," you encourage me to end it, "Just spit it out"
"I am simply tired of you throwing away every single chance I give out." My voice is becoming more powerful, "I sick of you making me crash and burn, and me ending up hurt in tears, and your, your with her and I'm stuck, sad, and you come crawling back when she's done with you."
And it's taken me this long baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around.
A tear escapes my dry eyes.
You take a tender thumb and wipe it from my cheek.
"Honey," you pled, "What are you talking about."
"As if you don't know"
I return my eyes to yours
It I'm going to do this, I have to do it right.
And being weak, is just not an option.
"It may of taken me a long to time to find out that you where treating me like crap, but now I know," I pause not knowing what your reaction will be, but your jaw just hangs.
I retreat to the couch, and burry my eyes that are returning to dryness in my hands
"Are you waiting for your cue?" I ask, as I scrounge up my most sarcastic tone possible while drowned in sadness.
"No," you put your hand up to your forehand, "I'm trying to figure out where you are getting this insane information! It's crazy! I swear you have the biggest imagination"
You sit in the spot next to me.
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna to hurt anymore
"You know what?" I angle my head looking at you, "You know what I'm talking about, and I'm not enplaning my accusations. Please, just leave."
Your brows collide.
I see that you mouth the word 'what', but it comes out dry.
My eyes trace you up and down.
"You heard what I said," I have finally earned power in my voice.
"Don't call me, don't talk to me, don't come to visit me. You know what? Don't even think about me. At all."
And you can tell me that you're sorry
but I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry...no, no, no
"Look," you move to my knees, hands together, beganing to beg.
"I'm sorry, okay." I roll my eyes and get up.
"Seriously, please," I grab my jacket as you trail behind me "I love you, don't go."
I stop dead in my tracks.
Tears of anger rush from the opening in my eyes.
This is usually the line that stops me.
I see hope flicker in your eyes.
Shaking my head I walk to the door and slam it violently shut.
You're looking so innocent
I might believe you it I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't let me waiting in the cold
At school the next day, you approach me during passing period.
In front of everyone
"Look, seriously, we need to talk."
I shake my head and pressure my lips together as I tried to walk past you, but you throw your arm in the way blocking my exist.
"We need to talk about what you heard," you look so amazing, must have spent at least an extra 5 minute on yourself this morning.
"No, we really don't." I try to seem more powerful standing my ground.
"Yeah we do," Your eyes widen.
"No we don't," My voice is louder then before and my tone is sharp, but you deserve to be cut.
Deep.
"No need to be loud, honey." you scratch my shoulder as I shrug it off.
Everyone is watching.
You're expecting me to give in.
"I don't know what you heard, but-"
"I don't want your explanation," I say, even more harsh then before.
"Hear me out-"
"No. I have heard you out for the last time"
And you got you're share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen cause it's worked each time before
I turn seeing a larger crowd of people then I remember.
As I attempt to carve my way through then a line of your friend is blocking me, and pushes me back to you.
"Listen to me."
"No," now I'm screaming,
You take my wrist and I jerk it away, "Don't' make a fool of yourself."
"I really couldn't care less it they are here or not! I'm done. You have thousands upon thousand of secrets that were unleashed on me the other day. And I'm sure you have tons more, but I don't want to hear them. I don't want to want to hear them. And, also, I don't want to care about you! This is not working on me this time, okay?"
Upon glance I see that all the boys have moved out of my way for the moment.
Time to make a run for it.
The students are now confused.
They know he left the gorgeous cheerleader, little miss perfect for me. Now I'm dumping him, and they don't understand.
But I'm glad they don't understand.
Then they would feel my pain.
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna to hurt anymore
I skipped last block wanting to avoid all the student I who thought I was crazy.
I'm not going to lie.
I am crazy, but that is not the reason me and Kevin ended it.
The simple reason, is that you are a liar, a cheater, but I'd rather not get into details.
The complications are far to deep and so are my scars.
I reach for the steering wheel and a letter graces the dash board.
Why?
What in the world is wrong with you?
I didn't bother reading it.
I don't want to hear what he has to say.
After revving up the engine my phone rings, but it was him so I left it.
A text followed shortly after.
My curiosity got the best of me.
The message read:
It's Kevin look behind you.
:)
I really didn't want you to know I even looked at the message.
So instead, I drove slowly, but took a quick glance in my review mirror.
Sure enough, it was you with a marvelous banner.
But dude, a marvelous banner is not going to make a cancellation for what you did.
So I left.
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry...no, no, no
You're not sorry...no, no, no
You must have be me home.
I walked in too my bathroom to find "I'm sorry' written on every inch of the wall, the tube even the curtain.
I sunk to the floor, face deep in my hands.
"What am I going to do?" I whispered.
I was sobbing out of confusion, and frustration.
Just minutes later, I looked normal, like no tears fell, so I exited to find you standing in the way of me and my room.
"Get out!" My screams seemed to have no effect on you.
"Nope," you walked toward me arms open I backed away, discussed.
"Get out! It over, I know what you did." your feet where still, arms found home back by your side, "you don't understand. I-"
"Yes, " I raged, "I do understand. Oh your confusing this time with the time before this, and the time before that, and the time before that, and before that, and before that, and you know what. I understand this time. Even though you don't want me too."
You had me crawling for you honey
And it never would have gone away, no
You used to shine so bright, but I watched all of it fade
I need to set you straight.
You had to realize it was over.
You had me no longer
"Do you realize how you had me, for years. I was all yours. But you we with her the whole time. Then finally," by this time, tears where rolling down my face, and I was pretending they didn't exists. As I could do later with you. "Then finally you took me, and repeatedly broke me, over and over again, as if I was nothing of importance."
"Kevin, do you know what it feels like? To be accepted the thrown away like that?"
You shook your head in terror.
You were crying.
Not because you hurt, but you had failed me.
You made me hurt.
Terribly.
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
You finally get it.
Do you?
I don't want you.
Grow up.
Maybe I'll want you then, but I can't be sure
It's almost like you grew out of you immaturity.
Do you think you can grow back in?
There is nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that your sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
"I'm sorry," you begged for one of the last times.
"Kevin," I said, "I have nothing to offer. You can beg, and pled, and say you're sorry, but I don't have any love for you.
You're no sorry...no, no, no
"I really am sorry,"
You're not sorry, no, no, no
I laughed.
No, no, no, no
"You're not sorry"
no, no, no, no
You turned, looking me straight in the eye.
I have to power.
no, no, no, no
"Kevin, she can have you."
